blah.

When I try to join a serious conversation

whatshouldwecallme:

i want to start fresh…i know i’ve said this many times in the past but this time I’m NOT going to turn back. at this very moment, i can feel God tugging at my heart. I’m drowning in guilt and anxiety…i’ve made some bad mistakes in the recent past but I’m ready for a fresh new start. i need to let go of this world and my past and forgive those i need to forgive. not by words but truly from the heart. I’m so relieved that i feel like this right now. i think i’ve been waiting for this moment for a really long time and it has finally come. i want to be happy and joyful again, and this can only happen once i fix my eyes on Jesus. i can’t wait to start this new chapter in my life. i hope that once i finish writing this post that these words won’t be just empty words. it’s not going to be an easy journey, but once i finish this race it’s gonna be worth it. LET’S DO THIS!! 

My favorite verse and great reminder of all time.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” 
-Proverbs 3:5-6 

“Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”

-Psalm 103:2-5

I may have hit rock bottom but I know You’re still with me….

i wish the feelings of hurt, betrayal, sadness, bitterness, anger, depression, etc. were all nonexistent. they cause so much harm to people, relationships, and life in general. i hate being in trapped in this little hole not knowing how to get out. God, save me. 

i live in such a lonely world…

Obedience

For the past week and a half or so, God has been teaching me A LOT about obedience and having peace in Him. It was kinda funny this past Sunday because when I was substituting for children’s Bible study their topic was “Do Not Worry,” and Brian JDSN’s sermon was titled “God’s Peace be with You.” Also, earlier that week, I saw a video sermon from the head pastor at 12Stone called “Simple Peace.” Do you notice something? Lol It’s been amazing how God has been communicating with me, and I’ve been learning a lot. I’ve just been worried and stressed out about my future and pharmacy school and constantly asking myself, “What if I never get accepted?” blah blah blah… why am I so pessimistic all the time? I guess it’s because I don’t wanna get disappointed in the end. But anyways…it’s a part of my life that i should definitely work on. aeijfsdlfjsldkfjawf

Well, here are some things that helped me a lot and hopefully will help you guys that are reading this as well.

When you trust in God, you get the gift of simple peace. God has seen your life and its end. He has determined that He will work all things together for the good for those who love Him. Don’t let fear rule your life!! Rejoice in the Lord always no matter what you’re facing because while it’s uncertain, God is certain. Pray your way to peace for the Lord is near! 

HOLY MOLY

PCAT tomorrow… whatever happens, happens. If i pass, then yay me. If i don’t, then it’s not the end of the world. There’s always next year if i don’t get accepted into pharmacy school. BUT…… i really really really want to get in this fall. GAHH!! but then again, it never really matters what i want. God has a perfect plan for me and i just need to be obedient to His will. Ahh..I just find so much comfort and peace in that. God is good :)

the worst thing that can happen while you’re on vacation is to hear family problems going on back home…who would wanna hear such bad news right before someone goes back…sigh…such a good way to end a wonderful vacation. i wish people can be smarter with the words that come out of their mouth and when to say it. i’m guilty of it too but c’mon…is it too much to ask for 3 weeks of peace and quiet??? grrr…o well…i just gotta face it when i get back… t.t